Any Questions?
Mom Never Says, "YES"
Question
My mom is way too overprotective. I try not to get an attitude when she tells me “no,” but I don’t know how else to handle it. Can you help?
Answer
Having an overprotective mom can be frustrating for a girl, especially when you want to try new things and do things on your own. There are many things a mother thinks about when her daughter asks for permission to try new things. She considers your physical strength to protect yourself. If for any reason she believes you won’t be able to take care of yourself or have a way to get immediate help, she won’t give you permission. This also applies to situations where she might be concerned for your emotional and spiritual safety too.
I understand that the word no is very frustrating because you think you’re ready to experience a lot more than she does. However, it is your mother’s job to make these decisions. It is a responsibility she has been given by God. As far as the attitude—how you react will greatly affect your mom’s immediate and future responses especially when new situations require emotional maturity.
Don’t whine, roll your eyes, make a face, stomp around the house, or go to Dad for his permission after Mom said “no.” These behaviors all point to immaturity. When you feel like doing these things, let it be your signal to express your thoughts and feelings to your mother in words rather than with the above actions. It’s better to tell your mom that you’re disappointed and wish you could do it now. You might ask her when she thinks you would be ready for the new situation. If you do this, you become a team instead of enemies. You could even ask her to help you to become stronger (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) to get ready for that experience.
Even though moms often say “no” quickly and with confidence, moms really don’t like to say “no.” Moms know that it’s difficult for daughters to understand the reasons why. Many moms I know want to have a good relationship with their daughters and part of having that relationship requires moms to make tough, yet loving, choices even though others may be unhappy.