Any Questions?
Shaving Time
Question
Some of my friends are shaving their legs, but my parents won't let me yet. How old do you think is old enough to start shaving?
Answer
Being allowed to shave is a big deal for girls. I'm sure this won't be the first or last time your parents keep you from doing something your friends are permitted to do. Often parents make their decisions based on how mature their daughter is and how much hair growth there is. The idea of allowing a girl to put a sharp instrument directly to her skin is scary to parents. Instead of focusing on exactly what age is appropriate to start shaving, I think it's more important to discuss what are mature behaviors (talk and actions).
- Discuss, don't whine or try to guilt your parents into allowing you to shave.
Discussing includes what you are thinking and feeling. It also includes room for your parents to disagree and then together you can come to a compromise. Here's an example:
Immature: "I want to shave my legs. Everyone else is and I look like a weirdo next to all the girls. I never get to do anything I want. Please let me shave… please, please, please!"
Mature: "Mom and Dad, I know we talked about shaving before but I'd like to tell you some things. I am self-conscious about the hair that's growing on my legs. It's becoming longer and darker and it doesn't look nice when I wear shorts or skirts. I wonder if you would reconsider."
If your parents say no, you might ask them what their concerns are. If they're concerned about safety, you might suggest that your mom help you shave, try a hair removing lotion together, or even use an electric razor. If they continue to say you're too young, it might be helpful to say: "OK… but is it all right if I bring this up again next spring?" This type of discussion shows your parents you're mature enough to compromise and still be respectful.- Actions speak very loudly. If your parents constantly have to remind you to follow through with chores and responsibilities, they won't view you as mature. So try to complete your chores before being reminded and look for ways to help around the house. This won't guarantee that your parents will allow you to shave, but it will help your parents develop greater trust in your ability to handle yourself.